I’m Hopeless

“Hey, I’m Laney!”

My heart skips a beat at the possibility of making a friend. One step away from lonely i guess. Except I have the pit sinking feeling in my gut that tells me that this will not work. Somehow my brain cannot see and or comprehend the beautiful smiling girl in front of me. Instead i have that nagging thought that she may just be a serial killer. Yes i know a serial killer. A little extreme right but hey you never know. People surprise you and no not in a good way. Next, you find your guts spilled on the cobbled road in an alley in a gory episode of ‘Dexter’  with your head decapitated and used to decorate the psychos cabinet of ‘Barbie ‘collections. Next,They will all shake their heads in dismay as they read the title to the Dallas Morning News -“Serial Killer Strikes again ” before they quickly move on to the latest scandal on TMZ. Your whole sad medieval life will be reduced to a statistic on page three of  a bored desk duty cops report. Goodbye girl. Your life was an absolute waste. But then again its not like you did anything meaningful besides taking up the valuable resources of the earth by continuing your useless existence. Ah. She was lonely-they will say as the sip their herbal chai tea. “Still, Margaret, she should have seen the signs . I mean come on , how hard is it to spot a serial killer ?”Chloe said as she stirred her tea. “Don’t talk to people. Period. Its the only way to protect yourself from all the scum of the world” Chloe continued. “Look at her . SERIAL KILLER. It makes so much sense.”piped Margaret.

I exhaust myself. Really I do. And yes Margaret I should have seen the bloody signs. I mean how could I not. Long flowy hair. Pink plump lips. Long graceful neck. Yup Margaret. She is definitely a serial killer. I exhaust myself. What the fuck is wrong with me?

“Hi.I’m Lola ” I answer back.

She smiles at me as she takes a drag of her cigarette.

Oh shit. I am totally fucked now. She is beautiful. Gorgeous. I mean wow. Why do i even found her attractive? She’s a girl right. Oh shit. I’m definitely not thinking about this right now. I already have that wretched Margaret screaming in my head. I feel like I’m about to self-destruct. Why would she ever be attracted to me? Last i heard ‘hippie ‘ was not the new ‘cool’. Wait. I’m not even hippie. Haha, I wish.  At least they know who they are and they are not some self-absorbed self-destructive freak. Points for me though. I have lasted this long without ruining all the possibilities of befriending her. Okay Margaret stop with that whining. Oh and Becks do stop all that romance nonsense. Its clouding my head . Its Lola’s time . I can’t think with you mongrels bickering in my head. Its showtime. I need to talk to her.