Chidochemoyo wangu(My hearts desire)

A love that is stubborn and endures all


Henry Olonga -Our Zimbabwe

This land our land, is our Zimbabwe
A land of peace for you and me
Once born in pain and segregation
But now we live in harmony

Now flies the flag our nations glory
We’ll live with pride, inside our hearts
As we all stand to build our nation
This our land, our Zimbabwe

Though I may go to distant borders
My soul will yearn for this my home
For time and space may separate us
And yet she holds my heart alone

Now flies the flag my nations glory
I live with pride, inside my heart
I’ll make a stand to build this nation
This my land, my Zimbabwe

Now flies the flag our nations glory
We’ll live with pride, inside our hearts
As we all stand to build our nation
This our land, our Zimbabwe

We’ve been through it all
We’ve had our days
We’ve had our falls
Now the time has come for us to stand
To stand as one

The night has gone and with the morning
Come rays of hope that lead us on
So we will strive to give our children
A brighter day where they belong

Now flies the flag our nations glory
We’ll live with pride, inside our hearts
As we all stand to build our nation
This our land, our Zimbabwe

Now flies the flag our nations glory
We’ll live with pride, inside our hearts
As we all stand to build our nation
This our land, our Zimbabwe

Image result for Victoria Falls Zimbabwe

To the love of my life: Dzimba dzemabwe -Zimbabwe -Rhodesia

I don’t know where to begin or how to make you see the picture that’s it my head . I fear you might not understand my reasoning or that you might not appreciate the picture I painted .  I have so much to tell you but my pride and fear keeps me from saying what I want to express.  Pride  have has me buckled up at the knees , I fear that if I tell you how I feel then I will become vulnerable and open . That the moment I open up to you , you might run a blade through my naked heart . Everybody sees me as this strong independent women who has everything under control such that they forget that I’m just like them ; I hurt , I cry , I feel , I love and I want to be loved too. The sad thing dearest about this pride is that it subconsciously makes me lie to those around me and it makes me also lie to myself and so I think I’m invincible and that I don’t need anyone. This hurts those who have made an effort to be around me and hurts me because I then think no one wants me but do you want to know what I learnt the other day. I was talking to someone id known for a long time and as a joke I asked them if they knew my name and do you want to know what they said to me ?  They said ” Um….I don’t actually know “. I was surprised and slightly offended considering we had been talking for a while and I had made an effort to learn their name . I then asked them what would have happened if I had done something bad to them and they needed to report me to the authorities , what name would they use ?They thought for a second then they said the most shocking thing ! “Well, I would have said it was that person who is from Africa !” . That took me aback ,I mean its okay not to know someone’s name but calling me that person from Africa . I mean you could have at least gotten the specifics right . They mention mother Africa as if she is a country and we are The United States Of Africa . Funny right ! But that not the point my love . The point is that I will always be known as your girl . No matter where I go , people will always know me because of you or Mother Africa . That will always be my identity , it will always be me. So that helped me see that no matter how much I hate it or love it , its always going to be me and you forever .

Later that day , I sat on my bed and I thought of the moments that we shared together , The precious memories that we created together . My love , do you still remember how we danced to Sungura under the muzhanje (wild loquat tree). Do you remember what the song was called ? Or do you remember when you sang Chamembe’s song -Jesa . I was so in love with you and you were my world . Our love was like no other , it was filled with tears of joy, moments of sorrow and lots of laughter . You know when you overdosed and  fell sick in 2009, I was devastated  and honestly I didn’t think that we could survive . I was emotionally unstable and I fed off you and it turn we became infected with the disease of dependency , corruption , poverty , crime and economic deficiency together . It hurt , I wont lie but somehow as we lay on that hospitable bed, you always found a way to make it better for you and me . You made me laugh and you made our situation a little better for us. We went back to our days of bliss , the days of emptiness in out relationship faded and you were mine again . But I don’t know why you are stubborn sometimes , you refuse to change for the better . You started to beat me up and abuse me in such ways that I forgot of our days of our romance . I started to invest in other friendships .I started hanging out with other guys that were “cooler” and you just watched and you didn’t fight . You didn’t fight for you , You didn’t fight for me and you didn’t even care to fight for us . You just watched me slip away with Westernization and forget who I was . Do you know what I wanted you to do at that time my love ? I wanted you to remind me of the roads that  we walked together , the falls that we swam in , the mountains that we climbed , the food that we ate . I wanted you to tell me a ngano (folklore story) about your ancestors . But you didn’t . You just sat there letting me poison myself with Western Culture. You knew that it killed my other brothers and sisters yet  you still watched me sip it. You were dying and you are dying my love but you let me go . I was your medicine , your healer , your strength . Didn’t you see that ?With me and my brothers you are powerful and you can get all the treatment you need . With us around you can finally afford rehab and excellent treatment . These other girls don’t care about you my love , they want the little that you still have . They want those gems that you put on my neck , they want  to live in those valleys that you promised me . Don’t be stubborn , tell me that you want me and I will run back in your arms .

I guess its unfair for me to blame you for everything . I too had a big role to play in our demise . I failed to work through our problems with you . I wanted someone else to fix out  our issues . I wanted results but I wasn’t ready to work for them so I always took the easy way out . I treated you like you were worthless scum , nothing and yet I drank the water and food that you made for me . I became the women that I am today because you taught me the way of life . People are not perfect darling . You are not perfect and I should have seen that . I should have loved you for your faults . I should have stood by you when you re-lapsed and helped you get up . You often told me of how the other girls you were with left you and never came back . How they used you to get what they needed and then discarded you . I promised I would be different , I promised I would walk with you to the path of recovery . I broke that promise and I’m sorry . If you can ever find it in  your heart to forgive me . Because today I have made a promise “Ndinoda kushamula newe , Ndinoda kuvhaya newe , Ndinoda  kufamba newe”-Xtra Large (I want to go with you )

You my love are everything to me , you make me who I am and I just want you to come back to me . I love you Zimbabwe.

“Fendela fenduze , my love”

Image result for zimbabwe harare

Image result for zimbabwe harare

“If only you knew what it meant to me to be with you I’m just hoping that you change your mind and love me too

I don’t understand why your saying goodbye and you know that I try to make it alright

…I loved you everyday “-Audius Mtawarira (If only you knew )

Image result for chimanimani

Image result for karoi zimbabwe          Image result for karoi zimbabwe


The Girl From Zimbabwe

Pictures from Bing Images

Songs mentioned :

If only you knew -Audius Mtawarira :

Fendela Fenduze-Peterson and Shyman :

Henry Olonga -Our land:


2 thoughts on “Chidochemoyo wangu(My hearts desire)

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