“You look so pretty without your glasses ! “
“My gosh your so fat, you need to eat less “
“You have that miserable type of hair that never grows and is sparse , you should just give up and focus on other things like intelligence because we definitely know that beauty isn’t your thing”
“Look at what she wearing ! Shame ! it must be all she can do with her sad wardrobe. Its a pity because she could have been prettier.”
Is this what beauty is all about ? Do I have to fit a certain parameter in order for me to be pretty ? Is there a model design that states the requirements needed for me to be pretty ? How many of you have ever been told that you needed to change something about you so that you can meet the “acceptable ” standard of beauty? Apparently the size of my waist , the thickness of my hair and the size of my lips are the defining factor for whether I’m a hit or a miss . What has this world come to?
Growing up, I had a tough time because I couldn’t see well enough and at that time my parents didn’t take me seriously when I told them I had eye problems and that I probably needed glasses . So you can imagine how left out I felt every time my friends would point out at something exciting in the distance or every time we went to watch the movies . I just couldn’t see .Unfortunately ,the fact of the matter is that the world we live in revolves around sight . Sight by definition being the ability to see . For me sight would be the ability to fit in and see the world through their eyes. During TV time on one of the weekends at school was an interesting show on television and I was so excited but because of my sight at that time I couldn’t see well if I was far away so I sat close to the TV to solve my problems . I remember feeling so happy and alive at that time . For once in a long time I could see what was going on be part of the buzz and excitement . I could actually see what Miley Cyrus looked like and REALLY see her perform. I didn’t have to sit out anymore when the girls danced and sang along to “The Best of Both Worlds”. I was happy until someone ruined that memory a couples years later. Speaking of the moments we had in our early days , a friend decided to make a joke of my disability . “Who used to have her forehead glued to the TV like this ?” she said as she made an exaggerated impersonation of me . Something inside me died that day and I don’t know whether it was her comments that got to me more or the way everyone else was so quick to join her in laughter.
Its funny how you don’t realize the little things that hurt people . I never said anything to her or to them . I just sunk deeper and deeper into my own world . A world so dark , empty and cold .The nature of my character was beginning to mold into the cold person they soon got to know . The conscious choices we make sometimes dig holes that we later fall and stay trapped in .They made their choice that day . They made the choice to make fun of somebodies pain and I don’t know what they hoped to achieve at the end .I Learnt two things that day : You cannot let peoples remarks break you and that people never truly understand the depth of the consequences of what they say . Well, I eventually got my glasses and I stopped sitting so close to the TV and then I thought my fight was over . I thought I was finally part of the conversation . I could see the world . I was alive . The moment of Euphoria was short lived . We had a party to attend and we all know what happens at parties :selfies . Lots and lots of selfies . My worst nightmare .
“Take off your glasses , you look much prettier without them “they said .
In my head I was thinking , I can’t see without my glasses so how am I meant to see what I am doing ?
But that didn’t matter to them . They didn’t want to be seen by their elite friends with the thin-haired , glass wearing human as if my body features were a contagious deadly disease
That continued to go on . The boyfriend , the mother , the friend , they all made the same comment :Your so pretty but only when you remove your glasses .Now here’s a fact -My prescription is negative in both eyes and I have a complication in my eyes no contacts either. For all the none wearing glasses people that means without my glasses I see close to nothing . So just imagine , that means I can even do my normal day to day chores . The list of flaws began to grow .
Your too fat
Your hair is too thin , too short , the color is not right
Your shoulders are too square
Your fingers are too fat
I couldn’t keep up . At this point I really asked myself what I was doing . No matter how much concealer I wore I never felt pretty enough . I went to the gym , I got a new wardrobe , I got contacts but still I couldn’t feed societies’ appetite. It kept me awake at night , it kept me watching make up tutorials but all for what . Who had the power to define my worth and value ? Who could tell me that their version of beauty was correct ?
Beauty isn’t something that coms with a rule book . Its an art . An art where you and me can paint what we want .You can choose your canvas ,your colors , the tones and textures that make the edges of your body . You can choose the rich shades that bring warmth to your skin . Sure when were born we cant choose the tone of our skin or the color of our eyes but we can choose what we want to do with what we have . If I choose to embrace the thickness of my thighs I should be to without the world judging me because you know what ?
Beauty is YOU
Here is a song that speaks to me about my kind of beauty . Its called Scars to your beautiful by Alessia Cara :